This week, we’re talking about how to navigate the holidays with your loved ones who need in home care, as well as how to support those who are caregivers. As we age, holidays can become more and more difficult for many reasons. The high expectations of holidays can be stressful and old memories attached to painful emotions can be conjured up, thus eliciting confusion, sadness, and even anger around a time of year that might otherwise be joyful for the rest of the family. Planning holidays can also be hard for those who are family caregivers, knowing the limits their loved one might face that might not be otherwise understood by long-distance family who only sees them once or twice per year.
ask for help
When it comes to planning holidays, it’s important to remember that it’s okay to ask for help! One of the best ways to ease the stress of preparing an extravagant feast is planning ahead for holiday meals to be potluck style! Having everyone chip in on meals can make things easier for the host and the holiday meal will still be just as—if not more—wonderful! It can be difficult for some to accept this change in traditions, but communicating that they may no longer be doable for the preservation of the host’s physical, emotional, and mental well-being will hopefully be met with empathy and support. While some may continue to dwell on the good memories of time’s past, remind them and yourself that these changes provide an opportunity to make new memories!
Inform your guests
As holidays are nearing and plans are being made, something to consider is explaining your loved one’s situation to your friends and family members so that it isn’t a surprise. Changes like dementia, Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, or other diseases can catch people off guard and elicit an unintentionally consequential response if not given proper warning. By giving a heads up, emotions can be processed beforehand rather than in that moment.
when the day comes
There are many ways that you can make these holidays easier on your loved ones who need care, while still keeping those meaningful days just as special.
Keep visits short… or shorter than normal.
Find creative ways to make things less of a hassle for the host and your loved one; lend a hand with cooking cleaning, or any other task that might be burdening them.
Prepare them for that holiday, like having the celebrations earlier or closer to home.
Maintain every sense of normalcy that you can; encourage keeping most of the same foods, music, and décor.
Make sure to be flexible—change can be good!
Remember that stimulation at celebrations can be overwhelming; make sure to keep your loved one hydrated.
Beware of the weather, and how it may affect the onset of other symptoms.
Avoid comparing of past holidays to keep emotions positive.
Most importantly, don’t force a gathering! Video chats can be a great solution to keep everyone connected if you’re concerned about the health of your loved one and the rest of your family.
year of firsts
The “year of firsts” refers to those who are experiencing the first year of holidays, celebrations, and other milestones without their loved one who has since passed. With approaching holidays, keep those going through the “year of firsts” in your thoughts. Spending those first major holidays without those people in your life can be extremely trying. Allow yourself to grieve. Allow your family to grieve. Know that the holidays can be triggers for many, but you aren’t alone in it all! The holidays are meant to be joyous times; spend some time reflecting on the good they brought into your life. Share stories with your family members to keep their memories alive. Above all, love those who are still here.